I'm Broke.

I LOST MY WALLET! DAMN. 11-25-2010

PROMISES.

I know it's not the time to upbraid the promises that has been made 2 years ago. Not this time, because there's nothing I can do anymore. He made up his mind without letting us know before he decide. We don't even have the chance to hold him back 'coz by the time he texted us, he already did. 


I wish we can change his mind. I wish we can convince him that everything will be fine. But I know him, when he said it's final, then it's final. I'm not in the right place to analyze what have happened because I don't know how it really feel, I don't know the full story. But it's just, on my side, he seems so weak. It looks like he admitted that he lost the fight. I don't know. I just care about him. I'm sure everyone will talk about him and I don't want it to happen. Not when we can't defend him. I don't care about what they think. They don't know him anyway. I just don't want him to ended like he's a coward, a weakling 'coz he's not. 
After all of this, I don't know what will happen. But I'm sure, we'll be seeing each other even it's not often as before. I hope we'll make time. I will make time. :)

telia 11-25-2010

369th Day :)

I will make sure that we will do everything that we want to do before we die! Eat as much as we can! Watch movies even day after day. Go to places we've never been. And be with each other for as long as God allows.

 It’s a Monday. I’ve left early at around 7:30 in the morning but because of the damn traffic, I sadly arrived at my apartment at 10:30. We’ve actually planned to watch a movie in Pasay, Mall of Asia, Yes. And we don’t know if that’s just really not our day because the rain poured so hard that we thought if we still wanna go. The rain’s so strong and we’ve made a detour. To Trinoma, it is! We happened to arrive there at 3:00 and started the movie by 3:40. Actually, that’s our first time to watch a movie, there. Hahah. Poor kids. Well, we had fun admiring the sofa-like chairs of the cinema and the ambiance that seems like, we’ll have a next time to watch a movie in there. We haven’t taken a lot pictures since it’s raining. Connect? Nothin. It’s just like, it’s a bad day and even if I wanted to take a lot of pictures of him at different parts of the mall and wander at each corners, and act like it is really our first time even it’s not, my mood of taking pictures went down.

 The important part is the dinner time! First time again. To eat in an expensive restaurant! Expensive for us, knowing we have no money for that stuff. But since, ako ang pasimuno ng pagkain sa iba’t ibang lugar sa iba’t ibang resto, we’ll just have to enjoy the food! Haha. We made not just one circle around the place before we decided to eat. Good thing we found California Pizza Kitchen. That's one in our list! I don’t know where Don Henrico’s place is or, I guess I’m not sure if Trinoma has one so as soon as I accidentally saw the CPK, a quick change of plan happened. I’m losing my vocabularies. I just want to make memories so here it goes. Another episode of my life with him. Pwede na siguro ‘tong scrapbook. Haha. Or pwede ding, sources to ng mga memories na naganap pag gagawa na ko ng totoong scrapbook. Ugh. Why I always want to make a scrapbook even if I don’t have the talent? And why I always push myself to write something kahit na di na ko maka-gawa ng maayos. Ay, oo nga. I remembered, I’m making all of this for him. For us. To make us always remember every scene, every detail, every special day, everyday.

Most Hassle Day

JD, Tel, Dianne, Adrian

When can you say that she's a friend for a lifetime? 

This is not the picture that I've expected to have on this day. This is not the scene that I wanted on the same day. 

I wanted her with us. Even with her boy friend. No matter how awkward it may be.

I can't force her to understand if she doesn’t want to.

All this time, I thought we’re in good terms.

I thought that distance is not a problem. I always convince myself that among my friends, whether they’re real or not to me, it doesn’t matter as long as I have the truest friends I’ve known. But now, seems like I lost one.

I don’t know if I’m just over reacting but I felt so much pain. Incomparable pain that I’d rather not think about ‘coz when I do, I always asks myself if it’s really my fault, our fault or it just happened that we don’t have the time to fix things.

But this day is suppose to be the day to fix things and figure it out.

But where is she? Yeah, she can’t go with us. I understand that she can’t break the rules but what I don’t understand is; do we matter to her? All the effort, all the sacrifices? It’s just, so depressing. Her reaction. Nothing. Nothing at all. Even a text. Even a thank you. None.

How a long story ends? I don’t know if I’ve already started the story with this, but I don’t think this will end. I don’t want it to end.

I have flaws. I have insufficiencies. But I will never let a friendship turns into something she let our friendship be. Not most especially through another person who doesn’t know about our friendship. About me. Not a single thing about me.

First Week

Nice! :) This is the first week of my last (hopeful) semester and I want to start with something positive and that is a grade of 1.5 in our Thesis! :)) Well, we really didn't expect much and all we ask for is to pass the subject but God is really good. He always gives us more than enough of what we need.

I hope, this will be a good start of my semester and serves as my inspiration to have a consistent perseverance in terms of my studies. Haha. The first week was a double "bang". For our thesis group and in RT3J2A. I don't know it's really the balance of life because we've got good feedbacks from the panels in the thesis defense and it seems that they've liked our presentation and the outcome of our program. While on the other "bang", one of my friends had this serious problem that we haven't imagined to happen this way. I thought, I cannot be happier enough for at last, we're done in thesis defense, but when we've heard about the issue, it is more serious than we have expected. And right now, we still don't know if this thing will last long.


But aside from that issue, I guess this is a positive start of the semester :) I want to graduate on time! And have a  6 digit salary sooon! :))))) I'm hoping toooo much. :))))

My Future In-Laws :)

* Yes, I will make this like a diary, my very own pensive. Haha. Just to have something to read to when I'm old, since I don't want to write literally anymore. :|

His Mum: "Nakaplano na yun noh. 2011 sina AJ at Mina, 2012 si Mayelle, 2013 si Jong at Kristel."

Tito Rey: "Unahin na kaya sina Ading?" (Haha in my head)

His Mum: "Hindi pa nga nakakatapos eh. Hindi pwede, nakaplano na 'yon."

Oh yeah? So, they are also sure that I will be part of their family? I'm laughing out loud in my head to think that his mum's already thinking of the year we're getting married and touched at the same time because I think, they just like me, for him <3 I mean, if they don't, they won't plan anything for their son that includes me. Haha! I will never deny how happy I am when I've heard about that.

October 23, 2010. Ate Irvie's birthday and Javien's birthday party at McDonald's.

Ading, Aneng, Mama, Daddy, Kuya AJ and Ate Mina

All I ever wanted in my life are small things. 

I'm already satisfied for waking up everyday and knowing I have my family that supports me for whoever I am.

A boyfriend that makes me fall in love over and over again every single second.

And in the future, a job that will provide my material desires and my family's needs.

A husband (I know it's him) that will never let me feel I'm alone.

My own family with three charming, adorable and smart kids.

And in-laws that will like me to be one of them.

I want to take it one step at a time. All of my small simple dreams. And when I had him, slowly, I know it's coming through. I couldn't be happier because this is just so much more of what I've expected to happen. I cannot be jealous of others because even my life isn't perfect, I already felt that I am special, I am complete. For the very first time, I know that someone will never leave my side, that I'm not afraid that I will be betrayed, that I'm not scared that he will hurt me in any possible way that this Earth will allow. He, himself  is way enough to make me live in every sense of my life. Secondary with his love is the future that I am seeing with him and his family. Yes, I will be one of them soon! :) I will be Javien's ninang in the future :D I can't wait! I will be ate Jen, Ranier, Kuya JL, Darlyne, Dyehza's cousin :) I will be Kuya Jason, Kuya AJ, and ate Mayelle's sister-in-law, and I wiill be Daddy Larry and Mama Julie's daughter-in-law. :)) This is just a dream for this moment but I know, Ading will help me prove that this will turn into reality. Yeah, I'm quite assuming but I love his family as much as I love him. Without any bad intentions, I wanted them to know me just the way I am and at least not expecting too mush also :D But still, without our marriage (rolling eyes) I can never assume that I will act like I am really a Dechavez. Feelingerang palaka :)) I don't want them to think of me negatively. :|

Anyway, the party was successful! Haha. Again, I joined the games and we won :D I love the photo booth and I've been dreaming to have that every time we're like having get together. As if that's possible. Haha. I love the scenario when Mama asks me to do something that seems like she's comfortable doing it. Like I really belong and she's like telling me na "parang iba ka naman". Because she thinks, I'm not. Haha. I love to help run errands or making something for them even with just simple things. Err.