Adoption.

How's this work? I'm thinking of what Ate Mayelle (Jong's sister) told me about adopting iya. I don't know if it's gonna be too complicated or if that sounds crazy but it will be convenient for the three of us, for sure, Jong, iya and I.

Is that really possible? Well yes, as she have said, the lawyer can simply make papers that she will adopt my child. But in iya's birth certificate, Jong and I are still the parents. Ate just wants to give my baby all the benefits that she can give for her since she doesn't have a child yet. Sayang naman daw diba at makakatulong yun talaga samin. Pero siyempre kami pa din ang tatayong parents at mag-aalaga.

I think there won't be a problem in adoption papers. But in cases of returning the child, I don't know if that's easy and possible. Paano nga ba ibabalik ang batang inampon?

I don't have any idea aside from what I've read in Philippines Constitution that adopted parents can return the child if the child refuses the adopted parents or kapag di na ata kaya suportahan? Or kapag may violence between them blah blah. I'm not really sure lalo na't ngnonose bleed ako pag binabasa ko. Haha.

Pero kung ano't ano man, gusto ko na sana makausap si ate at ang lawyer bago pa ko manganak. Just to make it clear with them at para makapag isip pa kami ni Jong.

Nevertheless, may tiwala naman ako kay ate at sa pamilya ni Jong. :) And I'm so thankful kasi si ate mismo yung nag offer sakin about this, to help us out :) So kind...

Last 21st Celebration for just the two of us :)

It's a positive one, though :)

Hopefully, this is really the last because it will only mean that iya's overdue if not. Haha.

This is the first time we cooked something together for our monthsary :) Di kasi kami mahilig magluto at di talaga kami marunong. We usually have a date, watch movie, time zone, eat our favorites, basta just mall galore. Unlike the past few months, we're celebrating every monthsary together sa bahay lang. We did watch movies in cinemas but not as often as before. We usually watch downloaded movies na lang sa laptop which is for me, more fun and enjoy kasi we can do whatever we want while watching.

Pero yun nga, for this 26th monthsary, we cooked Carbonara. Haha. Thanks to Del Monte for the ready-made Carbonara sauce. Haha! He enjoyed it, I know. Kasi kahit di ganun ka-professional at di kami ganun kagaling, nakapag bonding kami ng iba sa mga usual bonding moments namin. And it was perfect for us nung kinakain na namin kasi may love ingredients na. Haha. Ang corny pero totoo. Tipong napapa-smile kami pag sumusubo :))) And I told him, we can do it every month. This can be our monthsry bonding, for a change and for us to learn kahit paapano. And then I realized, iya's gonna be with us na by next month so he said "naku, di na pwede yun." And then I told him, "Why not?! Patulugin natin si iya. O kaya, bitbit ko sya. Ayaw mo nun, junior masterchef agad sya?" At nagtawanan na kami when we imagined iya while we're pretending to be masterchef's judges. Hahah.

Ayun lang aang kwento ko. Bitin kasi I just want to take this memory down. The following months kasi will be far far different from this day, from all the days that have gone. I expect the rest of the days of my life to be more challenging, scary (konti), exciting and happier! HARDEST I gues, yet HAPPIEST. To think I can't have work immediately after kong manganak, I'm going gaga thinking how will I swallow my pride and ask for Jong's parents support para lang sa gatas ng anak ako. Yun pa lang, mahirap na. I'm always praying to Him to give me strength talaga for the coming days. WEW.

I'm sooo excited though :D hahaha!

Friendless.

Lagi ko naiisip, hindi talaga siguro ako swerte pagdating sa mga kaibigan. Ang gusto ko kasi noon, madami akong kaibigan. Madaming kadaldalan. Madaming kasama pag galaan na. Yung magulo at maiingay at masasaya.

Pero nagbago din naman yun. Bigla na lang naisip ko, di rin pala maganda pag madami, magulo at maiingay. Parang hindi naman talaga kayo nagkakaintindihan lahat kesa sa konti lang kayo tapos mas kilala niyo yung bawat isa. Ang gusto ko na lang, yung ilang mga piling kaibigan lang. Yung mga totoo. Nung college kasi ako, naranasan ko na hindi lahat eh pwede mong ituring na totoong kaibigan. Acquaintances lang kumbaga. Haha. Para bata ang mga realization ko diba. Pero natataon lang talaga kasi na dun ako napupunta sa grupong, kaunti lang. Tapos marerealize ko, mas okay pala noh? Hindi yung puro saya lang, mga katropa lang. Lalo sa college. Kahit sino naman pwede mo maging katropa. Dahil sa inuman. Dahil sa common friends. Puro ganun. Pero pag may problema ka, biglang maiisip mo, kanino ka magsasabi? Sino kaya yung seseryoso sa'yo? Mahirap. Kasi kainuman mo lang sila. Naging kabatian mo lang tapos tropa na kayo.

Tapos ngayon, eto na naman ako. Pakiramdama ko na naman, na wala akong kaibigan. Pakiramdam ko nandyan sila pero ang lalayo nila. Pakiramdam ko, naaalala nila ko pero hindi nila ako namimiss. Pakiramdam ko, hindi naman ako ganun ka-ispesyal para bigyan nila ng oras.

Ganun na lang lagi ang pakiramdam ko mula pa dati. Ewan ko ba kung dahil iba kasi ako magbigay ng atensyon sa kaibigan? O dahil talagang  wala namang ispesyal saken para maging kaibigan nila. Waha. Dramaaa.

Mula kay Rya, na ast option naman ako palagi, kina Dianne at Abi na lagi din namang busy sa iba't ibang bagay pero madalas ay sa jowa, kina Kim at Winona na sadyang malalayo lang talaga at internet lang ang pwedeng makapagkonekta samin, kay Bins at Paul na puno din lagi ang sked sa iba't ibang grupo nila ng kaibigan, sa college friends kong sina Joy, Alec, Revin at Allan na sa text ko lang madalas makasama dahil may sari-sarili naman silang lakad at kung magaaya ay laging wrong timing, o kaya naman hindi naman talaga nag-aaya (siguro naiisip nilang hindi nga ako lagi pwede).

Sila lang. Sila lang naman ang mga tinuturing ko talagang mga totoong kaibigan eh.

May mga oras lang sa panahong 'to, na nalulungkot ako kasi nga parang ang lalayo nilang lahat. Alam kong literal na malayo ako dahil nasa Binangonan ako. Pero nakakadisappoint na ganito na nga ang kalagayan ko, hirap magbyahe, bored na bored sa bahay, walang pera, walang magawa, tapos ganito pa yung mararamdaman ko mula sa kanila na parang no one can shorten the bridge between us. Yun bang kahit gano kalayo eh bibisitahin man lang ako? Sa buong panahon ng pagbubuntis ko na napunta ako dito, wala man lang nakagawang puntahan ako (si Bins nag-offer :) ). Kahit kamustahin o tingnan man lang ang lagay ko o namin ni Iya.

Eh okay lng naman kasi kung walang nagsabi na pupuntahan nila ako dito. Mag oover night dapat. Yung iba, gugulatin na lang daw ako. Pero, sa mga sinabi nila, walang natuloy.

Eto, manganganak na pala ako mahigit isang buwan mula ngayon. At ayun. Wala na akong inaasahan mula sa mga kaibigan kong nangako noong una pa lang akong nagbubuntis.

Hindi naman ako yung kaibigan matagal mawala ang tampo eh. Pero matampuhin talaga ako minsan. Haha. Pero madalas, para bang naiisip kong, wala naman akong karapatang magtampo kasi sino ba naman ako? Di naman kasi ako yung sentro ng grupo. Di naman ako yung oag nawala eh hindi na kumpleto.

Haha. Ang sensitive ko lang siguro ngayon. Kahit naman nga ang pamilya ko, yung mga tita ko? Nagsabing dadalwin din daw nila ako pag may oras sila. Hay. Pero wala din naman natuloy eh. Yung pamilya ko nga di nagawang puntahan ako, kaibigan ko pa kaya?

Pero lahat naman yun naiintindihan ko ko. May mga rason naman sila na katanggap tanggap siguro. At wala ako "say" magdemand diba? Nakakalungkot lang. Hindi ko man lang naramdaman mula sa mga totoo kong kaibigan na kahit papano, ispesyal din naman ako sa kanila para bigyan nila ako ng oras na puntahan ako kung nasaan man ako.

Kaya din siguro ganito na lang ako makademand sa atensyon ni Jong. Siya pa tuloy ang nagdudusa sakin. Haha. Siya na lang lagi ang sumasalo sakin. Haha. Siyempre no choice naman din siya.. At siya lang naman talaga ang meron ako. Siya at si Iya.

Di bale pupunuuin naming dalawa ng atensyon si Iya. Na kung madami man siyang magiging kaibigan o wala, hindi niya mararamdaman na hindi siya ispesyal..

Salamat na nga lang at may blogspot eh. Salamat din at may taga basa ako :) Kayo lang, boid at labins. :) Kailangan ko lang minsan mailabas. At kayo lang naman ang handang makinig. :) Mahal na mahal ko kayow :D

25th and 7th

It's our 2 years and 1 month. And it's Iya's 7th month (not accurate though).

Well. Just another ordinary day.

What is an ordinary day?

A day full of love :) A day of bonding. A day of normal sweet things, I love you's, hugs, kisses and funny moments. A whole day with him. Just him. Having the attention that I want. Having him by my side. That's now ordinary yet always a special one.

You see, as we grow older, as we spend time with each other longer than  before, we happen to get used to it but not in the way na nagkakasawaan na kami. We're getting used to waking up next to one another and prepare breakfast together or sometimes whoever get up first. We're getting used to having good mornings and thankful ALWAYS knowing we're still alive. It's funny when I thought of the times when Jong's mom won't allow us to sleep together but as I often stay here, it became normal I guess for them. And it's just that Jong will really do something to sleep beside me (when everyone was already asleep. haha!). We're also used to the habits of each other. Him, playing and me, text,play with Javien, tambay lang sa tabi niya, internet, reading, anything that will not bore me. I easily get bored in online games so I always ends up making papansin to him and putting up dramas. Haha!

Yes we're like really husband and wife. I just can't believe it yet, until now. Haha. But the good thing is, we just can't get enough of each other pa din. Pag nasa baba ako, andun din siya, pag sa taas andun din siya. It feels like we're still missing each other kahit na magkasama naman na kami sa isang bahay. We're also like always excited to see each other whenever he just arrived from school or OJT. His face was like a child received candies from his mom when he sees  me, and when I didn't smile back at him, he'll say "hayy.. di naman siya masayang makita ko :(" And his face turns into grimace. Haha. That's the time when I know I need to make lambing :)

I asked him once, something like... "Do you think, we're still like this when we grow old?" I mean, I'm sure we're gonna be lolo and lola in the future and I know we're still together but are we the same aneng and ading that we are right now? Like, the sweetness, the child-like expressions and the excitement?

I'm not sure but I know we'll be loving each other more and more each day. I've known him for more than 4 years now and I still don't know if there's more of his attitude that I'm gonna discover but whatever it is hidden inside him, positive or negative, I'll adore him more than he can ever imagine. I will be more in love with him. That's for sure :)