My past Ading.

Why do I always give letters? He's surely tired of reading the same thoughts for him. The same words that I even tell him in person. So why write it?

I have this nothing-to-do-day with him. He's just playing computer games and I'm tired browsing so I decided to fix  his things and throw unnecessary stuff. I ended up reading and reading his letters to me and mine to him. It's nakakatuwa kasi even from the beginning of our college, even we're not yet officially "ON", we're like so sweet and we're dating! Gah. I'm so depress that there are just a few memories I have in mind together with Ading. I can't remember everything, since I'm not into him since then. He's my friend, I know. I open up everything to him, from anton, to cyrus, to my family and my friends (ryan, dianne, abi). He knows it all. He's really into listening not into making kwento so I'm glad. Hahah. Napakadaldal ko kasi and he's always there just to listen. 

When I'm reading again all his letters and mine, it's just funny how we end up like this. Kasi, we're like kids pa nung first year and super sweet namin sa isa't isa kahit hindi kami. He will sometimes give me letter in between classes just to say "Aneng ko, smile ka naman jan!" He's always telling me na ang sungit sungit ko daw sa klase, napakaseryoso ko daw lalo na pag Math. And when I read those letters, I can't even remember that I'm noticing him looking at me during classes. Siguro nga, busy ako sa pagaaral at seryoso masyado. He's not even one of my circle of friends nun. It's just me and him but we have different group. 

I've read also our "i love you" letters to think na he has a girlfriend that time I  guess. Aha! I remembered, just now. He has this letter for me, actually, he's making kwento about himself in letters naman. He talked about all the girls that he had. HMP! Kala mo kay gwapo, sabi ko. Kasi ba naman, sa dami!!

I don't know. Sobrang saya ko pag magkakwentuhan kami but never in my mind I've thought that I'll be happier, happiest, when this time came that we're actually couple :) I even told him, siguro kung nagkagusto na agad ako sa kanya dati pa nung nagkagusto siya saken nugn first year, siguro, konti lang ang pagkakamali ko sa buhay. No cyrus, no JT, no Anaya, no Jayjay, no Jep, no Chua. Basta. Yung mga boys na naging jowa ko o nakalandian ko. Wala siguro yun lahat at siguro walang gaanong pagkakamali sa lovelife ko. And he'll just say, "ok lang yun. di mo naman talaga kasi ako napapansin dati" with drama effect. And I'll just laugh and kiss him telling him na "Bakit? Tayo naman na ah, and I am so contented than ever." Hahah. 

I'm so fond of Jong. I'm also fond of thinking those memories. Few memories that I have nung hindi pa kami. Kasi it feels like ang ganda ng story namin. Na kami din pala sa huli, naging choosy pa kasi ako! Hahah.

I can remember how he first talked to me. If my memories are correct, the first thing he asked me is, if I already have a boyfriend. Haha. Silly. Obvious na may gusto na saken :))

From then on, I opened up about Anton. About everything. When I'm tired with the girls (Joy and Tin), I approach him and we're like having our own world :D He  bought something for Von pa nga dati. Yung hot wheels? Tapos, he buys fries and flurry for me pag naglalambing sya. Pati cotton candy. Tapos, nagkukwentuhan kami sa dorm dati, I remember the scene very well. Na habang nagkukwentuhan kami, naiisip ko, nakakahiya kasi kaming dalawa lang sa dorm. Naiilang ako. HAHA! Conservative pa ko nun! Shet. Hahahah.

And now, whenever I remember those things, I started kissing him and loving him more and more. Those memories are treasure. It will never fade. And I know, when everything fall apart, it's my only way back to him. And I know, everything will be okay once again :)

Anniversary? EPIC FAIL.

Hayyyy. Di ko man lang naipagluto si Jong! I was sick the whole day of July 21st!! Grrrrr. The days after are just, I don't know.. Different I guess kaya parang di ko na maituloy. Lost the excitement na kasi :( Yung graham cake lang yung nagawa ko. Kasi after that, ang sakit sakit talaga ng ulo ko at hindi ko kaya magluto :(

Pero we both have our gifts naman kaya masaya pa din. We both have each other :D Hahaha. Cheeeesy.

No, I mean.. This time, he's the one who made the effort! Kahit na, hindi natuloy yung plano kung paano ko makukuha yung gifts, everything was a surprise pa din kasi I didn't expect him to give me all that!

The plan he have in mind is when I'm about to take a bath, I'll have to see this orchids standing on top of my underwear's dresser because he knows that's the first thing I have to prepare before taking a bath.

Secondly, after preparing my undies, the shirt and shorts naman. And he said, this is the one I must seeee :)

Grabeng tuwa ko dito!!! Kahit na hindi ko syempre pwedeng papakin lhat! Bawal sa buntis!!! AHAHAHA. After ko daw maligo, he knows I'll get my laptop and do FB so, ito daw makikita ko sa ibabaw ng laptop ko..

Yung book lang actually. Tapos the anklet will be together with the orchids pala :)

He also have this notebook na ibibigay niya lang saken..

It should have his letter inside. Kaso, wala siyang time magsulat sabi niya. But I know he's just 

too lasy to write one! HMP! hahah. Pero the thought really counts.

                  

Lastly, this cake made me cry. Ewan ko kung bakit pero ang sweeeet kasi!!

                                         

Ang dami niyang gift talaga!! It doesn't matter kung hindi natuloy yung plano niyang way ng pagsurprise saken. Pero, sobrang nasurprise pa din ako! Tsaka, by just receiving these things, I know pinagplanuhan at pinagisipan niya ng matagal.... Samantalang ako... Ipagluluto ko lang dapat siya.. At ito..

                       

At letter sana.. Pero walang lutong naganap, wala ding letter :( Wala kasi akong materials. Ang FAIL ko talaga ngayong anniv namin na to! Ito lang naibigay ko. Pero todo appreciate talaga siya. Na para bang mas madami pa akong binigay. Ganun siya kagaling magappreciate ng lahat ng ginagawa at binibigay ko. Hayy. I'm so unfair!! Hahaha.

Pero, alam ko, pareho kaming natuwa sa anniv namin. Kahit nasa bahay lang kami at inaalagaan niya ko dahil masama ang pakiramdam ko.. Babawi din ako sa kanya at ipagluluto ko pa din sya :) PROMISE!!

Check-up 6th Month

Just for the memories and for Eclair to read someday :) BTW, I'm sooo excited for August 13th!!! Papaultrasound na ko to know the gender :D although of course, we're expecting it's a girl :)
Everyone does. I mean, kahit nga hindi ko kakilala, sinasabing girl daw 'to sa hula nila. Ang ganda ko daw kasi magbuntis. Ohaaaaaa. Love itt!!!

Kainis si Jong. Pwede na kasi tomorrow ako magpa-ultra sound eh :( Ayaw paaaaa! Huhu. Isabay ko na daw sa checking nung anti-hbs ko :(

My OB gave me my second dose of Tetoxide. Anti-tetanus chorva. And my first does of HBS I guess? Basta. For Heppa resistance :)

Almost there..

I haven’t got the chance again to take pictures from yesterday’s moments. Fail. But it goes this way....

Mama and I planned my 2 days 2 nights stay in our new renovated house just to see it personally, and to be with them of course in spite of my bad terms with papa. Actually, I don’t wanna be with them with just the four of us thinking that it is awkward for papa and I so I suggested if naynay, my titas and cousins can come too on weekends. And the plan went well. Friday night, Jong drove me home. Haha. As if, he has a car? =)) After watching HP DH part 2, he went along with me to the meeting place. I shouldn’t be seen actually by whoever knows me so Mama picked me up at Mcdonald’s Elvinda around 8 in the evening.

Good news is, naynay and everyone else arrived just an hour after I arrived so I don’t have to worry about Papa. I mean, if I get to see him, I don’t know whether to kiss him, to start crying or just talk to him normally. Good thing, they’ve arrived earlier before Papa does. The first night was fun and just normal. I’m about to sleep when he arrived so, no problem at all.

Second day, they’re all busy fixing the some left over works for the house such as a few more lights, curtain hangers, mirrors, etc. Those are for the boys (Tito Bodz, Tatay and Pa), while the girls clean the house little by little. I have nothing to do but to fix my own things in my room and throw unnecessary things. I forgot to take pictures of how many clothes I have from the beginning of my general cleaning until it goes into half. Gave almost everything to my cousins since they’re as slim as I am before. Huhuh. L

During lunch time, my tito was like teasing me.. “La, alam mo ba kanina nung namamalengke kami, sabi sakin ni papa mo, oh, bilhan mo si kristel ng saging... Naks! Concern pa din ang papa niya..” I don’t know if that’s for real but it made me happy for a while. The day ends without any single word from Papa, as I’ve expected yet you can never imagine how happy I am being with them that time.

Sunday.

My last few hours are surprises for me. The original plan is to meet Jong somewhere in Pacita for the obvious reason that Papa doesn’t want to see him yet. That was clear to him. I thought Kuya Jason will be the one to come with him and fetch me up but Mama (Jong's) texted me saying, “Susunduin ka daw namin..” I panicked right away! I told her, “Hala, nakakahiya po wag na lang po si Jong na lang..” But she insisted it’s okay. I thought it will be a shame if I won’t even bother to invite them to come straight in our house. So I told her to have lunch with us na lang which is out of the plan. I called Jong telling him, why did he ask his parents to come with him so I felt like I don’t have a choice kasi naman ang pangit na nandun na sila malapit samen, tapos sa Pacita lang magkikita.

When I told Mama that they’re coming, her reactions were clear to me that she doesn’t want to. First of all, Inay and the others will leave right after breakfast. It was 7:30 in the morning I think when I told her. Then she asked Papa if it’s okay. His statement was, “Aalis na lang ako kung pupunta sila.” I started crying. I just don’t know how am I gonna face Jong’s parents with only me and Mama in the house and nothing prepared for them. I begged Tatay to stay until lunch. He, then, talked to Papa and convinces him not to leave. After a few, Papa entered the house with a fierce mood asking me, “Ano ba? Ano ba ang plano mo?” I was shocked that he really did talk to me. I was crying then. Mama, too.

Tel: “Wag na lang po Pa, sa Pacita ko na lang sila kikitain.”

Pa:  “Akala ko ba gabi ka pa magpapasundo, at sa Pacita nga lang ang planong susunduin ka? Alam mo naman na wala pang nakakaalam dito diba?”

Mama: “Ba’t kasi hindi pa tanggapin eh. Nandyan na nga eh. Wala naman na tayong magagawa eh. Sabihin naman ng parents ni John Donn eh wala man lang tayong pakialam sa anak naten. At paano kung lalo silang mawalan ng gana dahil dyan at bigla na lang ibalik dito sa Kristel at hindi nga panagutan?”

Pa: “Ne, anong sinasabi mong walang pakialam? Magkaiba ang walang pakialam sa hindi pa matanggap. Hindi ko pa matanggap dahil malaki ang pakialam ko. Anak ko yan eh. Mahal na mahal ko yang anak ko kaya ako nagkakaganito kaya dapat intindihin niyo kung bakit ganito pa ako.” His voice was like in pain. Just about to cry.

I’ve burst into tears. More more more tears. I’ve never realized that after all, Papa still loves me just the same. I can feel it.

Mama: “Edi pasensya, nagkamali ako ng word. Ang ibig sabihin ko nga lang ay nandyan na sila eh, papunta na. Makiharap man lang tayo sa kanila ng maayos hindi yung aalis ka pa.”

PAUSE.

Pa: “Sige, okay na ako. (Facing me) Papuntahin mo na sila. Padiretsohin mo na dito.”

Tel:  “Hindi po, sinabi ko na kay JD na sa Pacita na lang. Okay lang naman po. Kasi kanina, okay naman po ang plano na sa Pacita naman na talaga. Akala ko kasi kuya niya lang ang susundo, edi okay lang na hindi na nga po pupunta dito. Kaso, nagtext nga po bigla yung mama ni JD na sila ang susundo. Sa akin lang naman nga po, eh patuluyin man lang po dito, tutal eh nandito na. Pero Pa, alam naman nila ang sitwasyon. Maiintindihan naman nila kung hindi niyo pa kaya kasi sinabi ko naman sa kanila na hindi niyo pa nga po tanggap at wala pang nakakaalam dito.”

Sobrang iyak ko na, at hindi ko maituwid ang pagsasalita ko. Shet.

Pa: (Lumapit sa ‘kin at hinimas ang likod ko) “Oh sya, tama na. Tama na ang pagi-yak."

I hugged him so tight when he approached me and began to cry harder.

Tel: “Sorry po, Papa...” =(((

Pa: “Tama na, tama na.. Sige na.. Okay na. Papuntahin mo na dito. Wag ka na umiyak. (Looking to Mama he said) Ikuha mo nga ng tubig ito.."

Mama: "Oh, tubig. Maligo ka na.. Sabihin mong dito na sila dumirecho."

I AM SO RELIEVED.. Not only because the plan went well but because Papa started to accept me once again. Huhuhu. I’m so blessed, really.

They arrived at around 10:30. Everything went well. Kwentuhan. Papa told them the story and how he’s coping up about me. I’m not paying attention to what they are talking about thinking that it might be awkward for Papa na nakikinig ako while he’s telling them his feelings towards me.

We ate lunch together. Jong’s parents, he himself, my parents and me. Lunch was overwhelming because they liked the food that my Ninang prepared for them.

We left around 1 and before leaving, Papa handed me money and I hugged him again so tight saying, “Thank you po, Papa. I love you...” He hugged back and told me, “Sige na. Sige na.” His tone was like, he will burst into tears any moment. It’s heart breaking but heart warming at the same time.

Okay na kami, alam ko. Konti na lang ang mapapatawad na din ako ng Papa ko. Konti na lang din at makakabawi din ako sa lahat, kami ni Jong.. We’re almost there..

There’s this day. That I keep on thinking of what really is my baby’s gender because I’m dying to wander around the children’s section and buy the things that I need for my baby. I just can’t wait and getting addicted to it every single day. I keep on searching for things that are necessary for the baby, the things that a mom should do or that best things that my baby will need. Ugh. I know it’s not yet the right time and actually, I am not sure if we can afford all those stuff. I’m not sure if our parents will lend us the money. But I don’t care. Haha. I mean, we will have money for my baby whatever it takes! Mangungutang ako para sa mga gamit niya kung wala kaming pera. I know my titas will help. I’ll assign something for them to buy. Or they can just give me money and I’ll be the one to buy. I want to be the one to buy all those stuff actually. I want it to be as organize as I want it to be although I’m thinking if we can borrow some stuff from Javien since he’s not using his crib and walker anymore. XD

I’ve searched so many things necessary for a new born and these are my checklist. SHIT! Sana mabili ko lahat for my baby J WEEEE!!

The + sign can be to follow up or not really necessary. Haha.

FOR ME

·         Pajamas, if you want to wear one

·         Toiletries (make-up too if you want)

·         Scrunchies, barrettes or clips to tie your hair with

·         Magazines, books

·         Pen, for filling out necessary paperwork

·         Breast pads

·         Socks or warm slippers

·         A robe

·         Sanitary pads

FOR BABY FROM HOSPITAL

·         An outfit to wear when baby leaves the hospital (shirt and two diapers)

·         Cap and socks (to keep him warm)

·         A blanket

FEEDING

• Baby bottles – (6 pcs of 4 oz. and 4 pcs of 8 oz.)
• Nipples (fast and slow flow)
• Bottle liners +
• Bottle brush (1)
• Bottle rack (depends on how many bottles)
• Baby bibs (4)
• Teethers +
• Breast pump + (1)
• Breast milk storage bags +
• Breast pads (4 – depends on the price)
• Pacifiers +
• Cream for nipples +
• Nursing pillow +
• Nursing bras (2-3)

BABY’S NURSERY

• Crib
• Crib mattresses
• Bassinets +
• Cradles +
• Bumpers
• Sleepers (pantulog)
• Nursery decor +
• Changing Tables or Pad +
• Dressers (kahit maliit lang)
• Nightlight
• Cover for mosquitoes

BABY BEDDING

• Crib bedding
• Crib sheets
• Receiving blankets 4 (towels na malalaki after bath or kumot niya)
• Mattress pads +
• Waterproof liners +
• Baby blankets (parang receiving blankets lang din)

CLOTHING

• One-piece outfits 6 (parang sleepers din)
• Pangcover sa pusod ni bebi?
• Shortsleeves na outfit
• Stretch suits
• One-piece pajamas
• Sock and booties 6
• Mittens 3
• Fleece outfits 1-2 (yung cute na may hoody :D madalas animal theme. Haha.)+
• Sweater or Jacket (for winter) 1
• Bonnet or Cap (for summer) 2-3

DIAPERING

• Cloth diapers +
• Disposable diapers
• Wipes
• Washcloth's (maliit na towel pangkuskos kay bebi pag naliligo)
• Diaper powder
• Sealable trash can +

BABY BATHING AND HEALTH

• Soaps & Lotions
• No-Tears shampoo
• Newborn tub
• Baby oil
• Hooded towels
• Ointment +
• Thermometer
• Alcohol
• Petroleum jelly +
• Sterile cotton balls
• Baby powder
• Washcloths
• Baby nail scissors
• Baby nail clippers
• Liquid aspirin +
• Baby brush
• Nasal aspirator (pag may sipon si bebi)

OTHERS

• Highchair
• Rockers
• Baby backpack carrier
• Changing pads
• Cloth Diapers
• Stroller
• Car Seat
• Sterilizers
• Diaper Rash Cream
• Baby detergent for clothes
• Towels
• Cabinet for baby’s clothes and things (dresser)
• Diaper bag
• Health Care Books for babies

* Prepare only 6 pcs or set of clothes for 0-3 months baby

* Baby body wash - Johnson & Johnson
* Shampoo - Himalaya 
* Powder - I use the traditional brand (Leng Hsiang) 

- Shampoo, powders and oils are not necessary as they can result in allergies - baby's skin is ultra sensitive in the first few weeks and powders, especially for baby girls, can result in infections, get into crevices (making cleaning tough), etc and such.

- Select a physician for your baby

- Safety Considerations regarding Bottle Feeding: 

• One of the advantages of Bottle feeds is that anyone can share in this pleasurable task. The close contact is essential for the baby's development and well being. A baby should never be left unattended with a bottle
• Bottles of formula can be prepared in advance and refrigerated. Never use any prepared bottles which are more than 48 hours old
• Bacteria can develop if the formula is not refrigerated. Never use bottles that have been out of the refrigerator for more than 3 hours
• All equipment must be thoroughly cleaned and then sterilized before use        

- Babies are hungry every 2-3 hours.

- Drink at least 8 cups but not more than 12 of liquid a day

And just yesterday, Mama (Jong's) bought a set of feeding bottles for Eclair. :) Pakonti konti daw kami mamimili ng gamit niya. Aheeee. Guess how much does it cost? I didn't expect to buy something as expensive as this one. Kahit na, it's the best brand for babies. Grabeee. To think, it consists of 2 small and 2 large bottle, with bottle cleaner and a pacifier? Tapos 2799 pesos na yun?? Gawd! Tooo much. Ang swerte naman ni baby. Haha. The moment Mama bought this, I can't stop thinking of it. I'm sooo excited to buy more stuff for her. HER talaga? 

My next check up will be this coming Saturday. I'll ask the OB if I can see the baby's gender already.. Cross fingers! I want to know!!