Meeting

It has been decided since Wednesday of May 11 that Saturday will be the day for the “pagpupulong” between his family and mine. I really don’t know what to think and what to do before the day. I’m so worried for the Dechavez’s that they might get bad impressions from my family since my relatives have gone hysterical with the issue. I have no right to control their emotions towards Jong and his family even they didn’t know them that much. It’s normal for them to think negatively like, are they really gonna support me all throughout? Aren’t they gonna count the things to me that I haven’t even waited to get hired before having a baby? They have so many presumptions about Jong’s family but I think all of that have changed after the meeting J

Tita Julie’s aura was so light that she’s the one who started to greet my relatives with her biggest smile. I just don’t know what to do then but to smile just the same and to go with the flow of the situation. Tita began denoting their family: Herself, Tito Rey (Jong’s Tito), Tita Liza (Tito Rey’s wife), Kuya Jason (Jong’s Brother), Tito Larry (Jong’s Dad), Tita Yolly (Jong’s tita), Ate Irvie and Tito Noel. Javien his babysitter Ladylee were there as well.

From our side, mama introduced them but didn’t do the talking :D Tito Art started the agenda and let the side of Jong discuss their perceptions, decisions and feelings. Fast forward naaaa.

In summary, Tito Larry do the talking on their side and assure us that they will not reject the responsibilities of their son to me and to the baby. Of course, it is Jong’s responsibility but we all know that he can’t do it all alone since he’s not yet done in school. And about marriage, they are not in favour of us getting married immediately BUT if my family wants then, they’ll have to respect the terms and approve with them.

Ehhh. Nakahinga.

Tito Art answered with respect that both party has the same feelings regarding the marriage issue so we don’t have any problems about that. It seems also that my relatives were relieved after hearing the side of Jong’s family.

Actually, I’ve prepared my speech for them to hear. Ugh. If I only had the chance.. Here it goes..

“Alam ko nadisappoint ko kayong lahat. Alam ko hindi naman dun nagtatapos ang lahat. Pwede naman kami makabawi e. Dadanasin nga lang naming ang buhay in a hard way. Pero alam ko, paglabas ng baby ko, magiging okay lahat. Mawawala lahat ng sakit. Gagaan ang lahat ng sama ng loob. Sa ngaun, alam kong mahirap. Sobrang hirap tanggapin para sa inyo, sa ating lahat. At nasasaktan ko kayo ng sobra sa nagawa kong to. Pero binigay to ng Diyos saten hindi para lagluksaan. Blessing to. Yun ang paniniwala ko. At dahil sa baby kong to, mas magbubuklod pa ang mga pamilya naten. Umaasa akong mangyayari yun. Magtutulungan tayo. Babawi ulit kami ni Jong. Makakabawi din kami. Wag nating sabihing, saying lahat ng pangarap ko sa buhay, saying at hindi ko naranasan ang magpakasawa sa pagiging dalaga. Hindi saying yun. Siguradong may mas magandang plano ang Diyos. Maari ko pa rin naman tuparin lahat ng yun, kasama ang anak namin. Isang buong pamilya kami.”

Ohaaa. Kennice! I’ve prepared this speech but after their conversation, I’ve realized, it’s too serious for the setting. Haha. It’s not what I’ve expected kasi. I’ve expected inay to cry so hard, papa to be so irritated, mama to be too emotional and me to cry as hard as hagulgol. Pero, hindi ganon. It’s like the “nagbubulungan” thing for a couple. Yun bang ginagawa pag ikakasal na, namamanhikan kumbaga. So I’m like, my speech didn’t fit the situation so when they asked me and Jong about our plans, I can’t say a thing. I let Jong talk for both of us since I already said my part with my relatives, right? :D

The cute part here is after the conversation. Dechavez’s brought foods for lunch and prepared everything even ice, drinks and the like. I didn’t imagine that it has to be that way. As a matter of fact, 3 days before, I acted so problematic and talked to my aunt of who’s gonna cook the food for Jong’s family or who’s gonna spend money for it. Ugh. My tita just laugh and said, it’s their task to bring foods and we’ll not be the one whose gonna prepare. HALA! I’m so bothered if Jong’s family knows about that thing and what if they don’t? Nakakahiya naman na walang pagkain sa bahay. I even thought of cooking for them kahit di ako marunong magluto L But everything went so well. Nakakatuwa yung scene na sinabi ni Tita Julie na... “Oh, pano ho? Meron po kaming mga dalang kaunting pagkain, pagdamutan na po natin.”

They can now smile at each other and talk with each other light-heartedly. Mama began talking to me normally. After lunch, they’re back to their seats and unlike the first setting, they are now laughing, telling stories and they’re having chitchats about us. I don’t wanna hear those so I played with Javien outside. I just run errands for them whenever they need me. Papa became a bit normal to them and even throws jokes.

They left at around 3 in the afternoon. I was so relieved to hear some feedbacks from my titas that I’m just lucky that my in-laws are genuine people and that they are ready to accept me whole heartedly to their home. They even think I’m close enough with their family since Jong always brings me whenever they have occasions, and during thesis making. Oh yeah? Actually, I’m closer to them more than what they can think of. :P Mama calm down and talk with me normally after that. She said I just have to adapt myself very well to their family. I have to help with the chores. I thought everything went well. Yes, between my family and Jong’s family but between Papa and I? We’re not gonna be the same again.

I tried to talk to him after everyone left. And he just let go of me. He said, I already have a new family. I already have those people who will take care of me and who loves me so I don’t have to please him to forgive me or even pay attention to him. So heart breaking. I felt like, he gave up on me. He gave up his only daughter. I felt like he doesn’t want to have me anymore. That he can now move on with his life without me L From the things that he said, it seems that he doesn’t care anymore. Yes can forgive me, he can accept the fact that I will be an early mother but he will not care about it anymore. Hayaan ko na lang daw siya total okay naman na ako kasi aalagaan nila ako. My heart broke when he said that. That’s when I felt that I lost my dad. I know I’ve lost him so many times but that was for a short time. I can run back  to him anytime unlike now. I felt like, I lost him forever. That nothing will bring him back to me. That everything that he built for our relationship as a father and a daughter was like a 30 story building that collapsed in just a split second. My tears continuously flowing even after they left to go back to Laguna. Whenever my tita tries to ask me about what Papa told me, I just can’t say anything because I’m crying. This time, my hopes are all gone. Maybe I can be happy with my own life, but the consequence of that is losing my father forever. Who would have imagine that? Everyone knows I’m a father’s girl since then, and now.. I am nothing for him. Nothing but a black sheep. Nothing but a failure. Nothing but a nightmare.