A concerned wife

Ako yon, Oo. Concern lang ako :) Meron akong maliliit na hinaing sa kanila kahit na alam kong wala akong karapatan para magkaron ng sama ng loob o ano man. Lagi kong iniisip, bunso kasi si Jong, o kaya, wala pa kasi kami nai-aambag dito sa bahay, o kaya, palamunin pa lang kasi kami sa ngayon. Kahit masama pakinggan, oo, palamunin lang naman talaga kami dito kaya parang laging wala kami karapatan sa lahat. Nakakalungkot paminsan kasi, anak naman nila si Jong eh. At oo, suportado naman talaga kami sa lahat ng gastos pero para saken, bilang asawa niya, nasasaktan lang din ako at ako yung sumasama ang loob.

Alam ko, yang si John Donn, wala naman sa kanya yung mga ganung bagay eh. Kasi sanay na siya. Kahit noon pa naman, ganun na talaga sila sa kanya. Bunso kasi, bunso kasi. Ganun na lang lagi.

Madami ako alam na ganung storya. Kahit nga yung kapatid ko eh. Binubully ko din lagi. Utos dito, utos dyan. Tapos pagalit pa ko. Hahah. Pero yung kapatid ko, walang angal. Susunod pa din siya. Maiinis siya alam ko, pero susunod pa din siya saken. Ganun siguro lahat ng bunso? Ang babaet sa mga nakakatandang kapatid. Haha!

Pero ngayon, parang mas lalong nawalan ng karapatan si Jong sa lahat. Parang lalong lumiit yung natitira niyang karapatan dito. At dahil saken yun :( Dahil sa halip na siya lang, tatlo pa kaming magiging pabigat dito.

Alam ko burara yang si Jong sa gamit niya. Minsan nga pagod na ko sermonan yan eh. Lagi ko na lang papaalalahanan na ilagay yung mga hinubad niyang damit sa labahan, ibalik sa dati yung mga kinukuhang gamit, wag kalimutan kung san pinapatong o nilalagay yung mga gamit niya o gamit ko o gamit ng mga tao dito. Kasi sa kanya lagi hinahanap. Di kasi marunong magbalik ng gamit.

Naiinis din ako paminsan. Kaya lagi ko yun sinasabihan. Pero alam ko, matututunan din naman niya yon. Di ko naman pagsasawaan yon, kahit araw araw ko siya pagsabihan. Iba ibang strategy lang. Hahah!

Tsaka, kahit madami siyang ganung flaws, alam kong napakabuting tao ng asawa ko. Feeling ko nga, siya pa ang pinakaresponsableng tao, asawa/bf sa kanilang magkakapatid eh. Haha. Siyempre, asawa ko eh noh? Pero sa mga nakita ko, experience ko, ang kulang lang naman kay Jong sa ngayon eh trabaho eh. Nagiging responsable lang sila kasi may kita na sila, nakakapagbigay sila ng pera, eh si Jong hindi pa. Kaya para bang kung makautos na lang ang mga kapatid niya, para bang may kasamang, wala ka na nga silbi dito, di mo pa magawa yung mga inuutos sa'yo.

Lalo na si Kuya AJ. Kapag may maling nagawa si Jong, o kaya may hiniram si Jong sa kanya, o kaya may gamit siyang nawawala, para bang wala na nagawang tama si John Donn. Ewan ko. Napakademanding niya :( Laging pagalit pag kinausap si Jong.

"Jong, bat ba lagi mo kinukuha tong mouse ko?!"

"Jong, nasan na yung earphones ko?!"

"Jong, maghugas ka nga dun ng pinggan! Sinong inaasahan mo maghugas ng pinggan?!" (Kahit naman, huhugasan din yun. Kaya lang wala pang tubig.)

"Jong, maglinis ka nga sa 2nd floor."

Lagi na lang niya pinaglilinis si Jong. Yung tipong, parang hindi kami naglilinis? Eh naglilinis naman talaga kami pag may oras. Pero pag nagdemand siya, para bang araw araw eh naglilinis siya at pagod na pagod eh pasok trabaho, tulog at kain lang naman din ang ginagawa niya. Isang beses ko lang siya nakita naglinis. Sa kwarto lang niya.
Tapos ang dami niya sinasabi. Ang dami niya comment. Eh bakit hindi siya ang gumawa?
Tapos kapag may kailangan siya kay John Donn, lalo sa laro nila sa Rohan, demading pa din... :|

"Jong! Pahiram nung armor mo! Tsss. Di mo naman ginagamit eh!"

Alam ko simpleng bagay lang yun pero diba ikaw na nga yung may kailangan. Tapos pag ayaw ni Jong, galit pa siya. Eto namang si John Donn, napakamalumanay.. Ang sasabihin lang..

"Ehh. Hirap maglipat eh. Wag na.."

Di man lang magsabi ng... "Akin yun eh. Gawa ka sarili mo."

Pag siya kinakausap ng kuya niya, parang walang respeto.

Alam ko normal na yun sa kanya. Pero, ganunin yung asawa ko sa harap ko? Nasasaktan naman ako. Ayoko ng ginaganun siya kahit na alam kong kuya niya yun. 

Pati si kuya jason. Pag nag utos yan kay Jong, gusto niya sunod agad. Pagsalin ng tubig, pagbaba ng mga gamit sa sasakyan. Hala? Boy na boy ah.

Yun na yun. Basta. Nasasaktan lang ako na palamuning palamunin ang dating namin ni Jong kasi sunod lang kami sa lahat. Ako, di naman ako inuutusan pero siyempre, wala pa din akong boses. Wala ako karapatan. Kaya pag nasasaktan ako para sa kanya, sinesave ko na lang siya. Sinasabihan ko na lang siya na, "Beb,sundin mo na.." "Beb, wag mo na kasi gamitin yun." Para wala na marinig.

Tapos kagabi din.. Kahit mama at dadi niya ganun din naman sa kanya eh. Kasi nga ganun na yung pagkakakilala nila kay Jong. Pag may nawala, yung gunting, yung susi, yung towel, yung pera... Lahat sa kanya itatanong, sa kanya hahanapin, at sure silang si Jong ang kumuha. Kahit na minsan, wala naman talaga sa kanya.. Sana maalis ko pa sa kanila yung ganun image ni Jong :( Sana maturuan ko na siya na maging responsable sa mga maliliit na bagay para hindi na siya lagi pag initan...

Minsan kasi, kapag hindi na talaga siya ang may kasalanan, siya pa din.. Ayoko ng ganun, kasi nasasaktan ako para sa kanya. Eh siya naman, wala lang sa kanya. Ang kulit eh. Hinahayaan niya lang lagi. Hindi siya nangangatwiran. Hindi niya pinagtatanggol sarili niya. Hindi niya ineexplain yung side niya.

Naiisip ko, sana makaipon na ko madaming pera. Bibili na kami ng bahay. Bubukod na kami. Doon, wala na magdedemand sa kanya. Ako na lang! Haha. Atleast, obligasyon niya yung saken. Pareho kami, magdedemand sa isa't isa.. Ang idedemand ko lang naman, lambing niya :">

Di naman ako galit sa kanila eh. Mahal ko pa din naman sila... Pero siyempre, pag mga oras na ginaganun nila si Jong, nasasaktan lang yung ego ko bilang asawa niya. Na, sana wag naman nila ganunin sa harap ko si Jong :(

Sudden Thoughts

ANG SWERTE NILA HINDI AKO ANG ANAK NILA..

ANG SWERTE KO, SILA ANG PAMILYA KO..

ANG SWERTE KO TINANGGAP PA DIN AKO.

ANG MALAS NILA, WALA NA KO MABIBIGAY PA.

ANG MALAS NILA, BINIGO KO SILA.

LOVE.

        

 Why do I love him so much? Why do I always need him? Why can't I live a day without him? There's just nothing I can't do for him, just like how he would never do things not for my sake.

He'll do whatever I say. It's proven. He'll make me happy every single day. His sweetness is incomparable. He treats me like a princess before, and when Iya came, he then started treating me like his master. I'm guilty for acting like a brat sometimes. I just can't help myself being the boss when I know he doesn't have the courage to say no. But that's just maybe because I feel weak at these times. I feel restless and invalid. I can't move on my own. I can't do what I'm doing before and I can't always be as maharot as I am before.

Yes I'm the lucky girl. But I promised to myself, I will never make him think that I'm a mistake. He won't regret having me and Iya. He will never think that someone's better than me.

Right now, maybe I'm not so capable of doing things for him and it's because I can't do everything for myself either without a lot help from him. But I'm just waiting to have a chance and when I already have it, I will give everything he needs. Next time, I'll be the one to make sacrifices. I'm gonna have a job, and it's payback time! This time, hindi na niya titipirin ang sarili niya. I'm sure kahit hindi malaki ang sweldo ko, kaya ko sila suportahan ni Iya. He said so.. "May katrabaho nga ako dun, 4k lang sweldo niya every payday tapos 4 ang anak niya at nagaaral na lahat." That's so inspiring. Haha! That's what I love about him. I've learned a lot from Jong. If before I always crave for a job that will compensate me for more than 25k a month, now, it won't matter anymore as long as I have a job. He taught me how to appreciate small things. He taught me how to handle hard things easier. He taught me not to ask for too much. Mabubuhay naman kami kahit sapat lang. Kahit hindi sobra sobra ang mga resources namin. Hindi naman namin laging kailangan ng sobra.

Hay.. Maybe I grew up dreaming to be one of the richest people. Haha. Yeah, that's why. I'm always dreaming... But Jong never asked for it.. Jong will never ask for it. He's the simplest person I've known. He doesn't need anything but me. As long as we're living, that's enough for him. Naww.. I'm so confident about that kasi I know that the truth.

Eh pano kung, kaya hindi umaasenso ang marami ay dahil hindi nga sila naghahangad ng mataas?
I've thought about that pero who cares? Sabi nga, pag namatay ka, hindi naman tatanungin ng Diyos kung gaano karaming pera meron ka nung nabubuhay ka pa. Itatanong niya, kung anong mga magagandang nagawa mo nung nabubuhay ka pa.

I really thank God for giving me the people that I need, not the people that I want. Right now, I can only serve Jong with little things like waking up for him and cook breakfast and baon. Prepare lunch and dinner whenever his mother isn't around :D I don't know how to cook though but I'm trying. ^^,
Support him in his intern and studies. Prepare his everyday needs. Help him with his school works. And bond with him as long as he wants (sexy time included) Haha.

Those things will never be an obligation for me to do for him, but an expression of how much I love and adore my husband :P I will never get tired of serving him. I will never stop making him feel that he's worth it all.

I'll be the best, I know I am :) Happy Monthsary, Yagballs (For this coming 21st) :D I LOVE YOU! <3

GIFTS PLEEEASE!

Hello Ninongs, Ninangs, Titos and Titas!

It's confirmed :) I'm a girl. My mom just had her ultrasound today. Finally, she can buy my things naaa.
I'm excited to come out, as excited as my mom :)

<3 Eclair

I'm the happiest!! I want my baby, NOW! Hahahah. I've prepared these pictures for Eclair's godparents and titos and titas. They might have ideas on what we need and what we want. No toys, please! Her dad and mom can provide toys for her. Eductional and more aliw pa. And she can't enjoy pa naman those toys, not until she's maybe 7 months old?

These items can be searched through the internet, and can be bought in any infant's shop.

CAR SEAT. This may cost 1,500 - 2,000.  I know we don't have a car but if ever Jong's gonna learn how to drive, we can always borrow his dad's car. For the sake of Eclair :)

       

             
      Diaper Cloth costs 350 per piece in Babyland Shop. I don't know where else can we buy it but if it's possible, I would rather use this kind of diaper. I just discovered it while searching through net. It's a combination of "lampin" and a real diaper. The cloth inside is a microfiber cloth that is reusable and washable and on the outside is like the normal diaper. The good thing about this of course is it's not disposable. You can reuse it after washing and drying the cloth inside it. So, if we have even 10-15 of these, sulit na! Adjustable din siya so from newborn until it still fits, Eclair can use it! :)

BATH BED. This is not really the style that I want. But this thing might cost 300-700. You may include Bath Set for the baby if you want such as no tears shampoo, lotion, hooded towels, cotton balls and water heater XD






           



STERILIZER for bottles are important to avoid the baby from tummy aches and of course to keep the bottles clean. I don't know how much it costs but AVENT really has unbelievable prices so better not to buy from AVENT. Eclair won't use it forever naman eh.

                     

SLING STYLE BAG for mommy :) It looks like kaartehan for mommy but I don't want to wander around the mall or go for baby's check ups by just carrying her overexpose from anything. This one looks so comfortable for the both of us. I wonder how it cost but since I'm gonna use it just for the first months, if I have to buy it, I'm gonna have a budget of 500 Php only :) More than that, Jong will gonna carry her na lang. Haha!

I don't know how will I call this but this is just an additional. It's not a need. I just

stumble upon it on net and imagined me trying to hum a lullaby for Eclair while

she's trying to sleep. Naaaww. 

This one is what I will really need :) A BABY CARRIER that costs 1,700 in Enfant I think.

I hope my baby will not get annoyed while I'm carrying her like this. It looks compfortable

to wear naman eh and the baby's not getting tightly carried.

             

ROCKERS. \m/ yeah! Hahah. I know it's hard when the baby started to cry that I know she already want to sleep. So, if possible, I want her to get use to sleeping into her rockers. Hahah. Puro pampadali ng buhay ko eh noh? Pwede naman i-hele ko sya habang karga ko. Hahah. Maarte mommy niya. Saaareeh.

                

Changing Pads cost 500-1,000 and is very useful whenever changing diapers of course.

I'm gonna need it during times like I can't carry her and wash under the faucet. So that goes around

from 0-6 months? I really have a low stomach regarding about poops and everything.

I hope I can always be strong when it comes to my baby :) I don't wanna blow up while cleaning 

her :D

WALKING ASSISTANT. Found this in facebook, worth 700. It will sure help Eclair to walk as early as 7 months! Basta nakakatayo na, lakad naaa! Hahah.

And for more gifts, or if you don't have any idea what to give her, choose always clothes :)

It will be more appreciated than toys! I love searching for little angels' clothes. 

I want something pink or purple with headband ALWAYS! :D hahah. Para 

masanay ang baby ko na may nakalagay sa ulo niya palagi. Hahah. So she'll

never remove it when I put something on her head :)

Eeeehhhhh!!! It is really... A GIRL!!! I can't wait baby!

My past Ading.

Why do I always give letters? He's surely tired of reading the same thoughts for him. The same words that I even tell him in person. So why write it?

I have this nothing-to-do-day with him. He's just playing computer games and I'm tired browsing so I decided to fix  his things and throw unnecessary stuff. I ended up reading and reading his letters to me and mine to him. It's nakakatuwa kasi even from the beginning of our college, even we're not yet officially "ON", we're like so sweet and we're dating! Gah. I'm so depress that there are just a few memories I have in mind together with Ading. I can't remember everything, since I'm not into him since then. He's my friend, I know. I open up everything to him, from anton, to cyrus, to my family and my friends (ryan, dianne, abi). He knows it all. He's really into listening not into making kwento so I'm glad. Hahah. Napakadaldal ko kasi and he's always there just to listen. 

When I'm reading again all his letters and mine, it's just funny how we end up like this. Kasi, we're like kids pa nung first year and super sweet namin sa isa't isa kahit hindi kami. He will sometimes give me letter in between classes just to say "Aneng ko, smile ka naman jan!" He's always telling me na ang sungit sungit ko daw sa klase, napakaseryoso ko daw lalo na pag Math. And when I read those letters, I can't even remember that I'm noticing him looking at me during classes. Siguro nga, busy ako sa pagaaral at seryoso masyado. He's not even one of my circle of friends nun. It's just me and him but we have different group. 

I've read also our "i love you" letters to think na he has a girlfriend that time I  guess. Aha! I remembered, just now. He has this letter for me, actually, he's making kwento about himself in letters naman. He talked about all the girls that he had. HMP! Kala mo kay gwapo, sabi ko. Kasi ba naman, sa dami!!

I don't know. Sobrang saya ko pag magkakwentuhan kami but never in my mind I've thought that I'll be happier, happiest, when this time came that we're actually couple :) I even told him, siguro kung nagkagusto na agad ako sa kanya dati pa nung nagkagusto siya saken nugn first year, siguro, konti lang ang pagkakamali ko sa buhay. No cyrus, no JT, no Anaya, no Jayjay, no Jep, no Chua. Basta. Yung mga boys na naging jowa ko o nakalandian ko. Wala siguro yun lahat at siguro walang gaanong pagkakamali sa lovelife ko. And he'll just say, "ok lang yun. di mo naman talaga kasi ako napapansin dati" with drama effect. And I'll just laugh and kiss him telling him na "Bakit? Tayo naman na ah, and I am so contented than ever." Hahah. 

I'm so fond of Jong. I'm also fond of thinking those memories. Few memories that I have nung hindi pa kami. Kasi it feels like ang ganda ng story namin. Na kami din pala sa huli, naging choosy pa kasi ako! Hahah.

I can remember how he first talked to me. If my memories are correct, the first thing he asked me is, if I already have a boyfriend. Haha. Silly. Obvious na may gusto na saken :))

From then on, I opened up about Anton. About everything. When I'm tired with the girls (Joy and Tin), I approach him and we're like having our own world :D He  bought something for Von pa nga dati. Yung hot wheels? Tapos, he buys fries and flurry for me pag naglalambing sya. Pati cotton candy. Tapos, nagkukwentuhan kami sa dorm dati, I remember the scene very well. Na habang nagkukwentuhan kami, naiisip ko, nakakahiya kasi kaming dalawa lang sa dorm. Naiilang ako. HAHA! Conservative pa ko nun! Shet. Hahahah.

And now, whenever I remember those things, I started kissing him and loving him more and more. Those memories are treasure. It will never fade. And I know, when everything fall apart, it's my only way back to him. And I know, everything will be okay once again :)

Anniversary? EPIC FAIL.

Hayyyy. Di ko man lang naipagluto si Jong! I was sick the whole day of July 21st!! Grrrrr. The days after are just, I don't know.. Different I guess kaya parang di ko na maituloy. Lost the excitement na kasi :( Yung graham cake lang yung nagawa ko. Kasi after that, ang sakit sakit talaga ng ulo ko at hindi ko kaya magluto :(

Pero we both have our gifts naman kaya masaya pa din. We both have each other :D Hahaha. Cheeeesy.

No, I mean.. This time, he's the one who made the effort! Kahit na, hindi natuloy yung plano kung paano ko makukuha yung gifts, everything was a surprise pa din kasi I didn't expect him to give me all that!

The plan he have in mind is when I'm about to take a bath, I'll have to see this orchids standing on top of my underwear's dresser because he knows that's the first thing I have to prepare before taking a bath.

Secondly, after preparing my undies, the shirt and shorts naman. And he said, this is the one I must seeee :)

Grabeng tuwa ko dito!!! Kahit na hindi ko syempre pwedeng papakin lhat! Bawal sa buntis!!! AHAHAHA. After ko daw maligo, he knows I'll get my laptop and do FB so, ito daw makikita ko sa ibabaw ng laptop ko..

Yung book lang actually. Tapos the anklet will be together with the orchids pala :)

He also have this notebook na ibibigay niya lang saken..

It should have his letter inside. Kaso, wala siyang time magsulat sabi niya. But I know he's just 

too lasy to write one! HMP! hahah. Pero the thought really counts.

                  

Lastly, this cake made me cry. Ewan ko kung bakit pero ang sweeeet kasi!!

                                         

Ang dami niyang gift talaga!! It doesn't matter kung hindi natuloy yung plano niyang way ng pagsurprise saken. Pero, sobrang nasurprise pa din ako! Tsaka, by just receiving these things, I know pinagplanuhan at pinagisipan niya ng matagal.... Samantalang ako... Ipagluluto ko lang dapat siya.. At ito..

                       

At letter sana.. Pero walang lutong naganap, wala ding letter :( Wala kasi akong materials. Ang FAIL ko talaga ngayong anniv namin na to! Ito lang naibigay ko. Pero todo appreciate talaga siya. Na para bang mas madami pa akong binigay. Ganun siya kagaling magappreciate ng lahat ng ginagawa at binibigay ko. Hayy. I'm so unfair!! Hahaha.

Pero, alam ko, pareho kaming natuwa sa anniv namin. Kahit nasa bahay lang kami at inaalagaan niya ko dahil masama ang pakiramdam ko.. Babawi din ako sa kanya at ipagluluto ko pa din sya :) PROMISE!!

Check-up 6th Month

Just for the memories and for Eclair to read someday :) BTW, I'm sooo excited for August 13th!!! Papaultrasound na ko to know the gender :D although of course, we're expecting it's a girl :)
Everyone does. I mean, kahit nga hindi ko kakilala, sinasabing girl daw 'to sa hula nila. Ang ganda ko daw kasi magbuntis. Ohaaaaaa. Love itt!!!

Kainis si Jong. Pwede na kasi tomorrow ako magpa-ultra sound eh :( Ayaw paaaaa! Huhu. Isabay ko na daw sa checking nung anti-hbs ko :(

My OB gave me my second dose of Tetoxide. Anti-tetanus chorva. And my first does of HBS I guess? Basta. For Heppa resistance :)