// Hindi lahat ay katotohanan ngunit ang kabuuan ay hango sa totoong nararamdaman ng dalawang taong kilala ko.. //

IMPRINTING

“Alam mong hindi mawawala ang pagmamahal mo sa kanya. Pero nagdecide ka nang itigil kasi alam mong hindi na tama.”

           

After loving so much, you’ve decided to halt and think. You want to end the desolation but not the affection, not the love.

Have you ever felt so hollow, worthless and demoralized? You feel pity on yourself yet you keep on doing the same thing. You feel you don’t have any self-esteem and respect. And each time you try to work hard for your own good, the burden just climbs up more than what you have expected. Literally and emotionally, your heart is throbbing. The fragile thing was broken and you cannot pick up the pieces after you’ve put it wholly for someone you believed your key to survival. You think you’re a crap? You think you’re hopeless? You think you’re empty? But did you ever think you’re lucky to feel that way? Maybe you’re miserable. Maybe you’re not. But that. That what makes you human. That what makes you normal.   

Have you heard of ‘imprinting’?  How I wish that idea was true. It can change everything. There are no concrete descriptions how it can make you feel that way for the first and last time when you found your other half. It’s like, you’ve been closed inside the bottle and you can never move out of it. It’s like someone cast a spell on you that you can’t resist the instructions of your heart. It’s just like a charm or simply magic that captivated you and made you so much in love. Gah! I don’t think these words of mine can explicate what I’m really trying to verbalize. These are all understatement from the exact or proper description of what thing might happen to you if you’re imprinted to someone.

It can be the same as your age or younger than you are. It can also be the same age as your mother, or grandmother or worst, just an infant, or a new born. Funny it may seem but imprintingsimply ends your never ending search for ‘the one’. It simply shows you the person you will need for your own survival and for the rest of your life.

You don’t care how she looks like, how old is she, or who really is she. The only thing you cared about is for her to be happy and to be in perfect and good condition. The best about this, once you’ve been imprinted to someone, surely she will love you back the same way you love her.

I want to think of that idea and believe it was true. Then, everyone will have the happy ending they want. They don’t have to look for someone to love them. They don’t have to force themselves to love someone that they can’t love. They don’t have to try other relationships. They just have to wait. Wait until someone imprints with them. Cool eh?

So, whatever grief and anguish you feel right now for someone you think you will never forget, or will never ever let go of, can possibly turn into someone you just knew. That even you feel you’re in doom, you can hope that sooner or later, the one for you will come and no more tears will be falling through your eyes.

Like what Jacob Black described his emotions when he finally met Renesmee:

“Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the half-vampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was—my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self—disconnected from me in that second—snip, snip, snip—and floated up into space.

I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was.

Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing—to the very center of the universe.

I could see that now—how the universe swirled around this one point. I’d never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain.

The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood.

It was the baby girl in the blond vampire’s arms that held me here now.

Renesmee.”

12-23-08